Leaving baby bear...

Staring into the big, brown eyes of my (almost) six month old and unable to tear myself away from holding his teeny, tiny fingers I was more certain on something than I'd ever been of anything since becoming a mum! I was certain that today I would miss my son ten times, fifty times, one hundred times more than he would miss me. Ever since he was born I really wanted to throw myself head first into motherhood and haven't been away from Leo for anything more than a doctors appointment. This worked out exactly how I wanted it to, it has meant that I have had literally months and months to get to know our little dude, to know what he likes, how his tiny brain ticks and I have adored every second of it. My only negative thing to say is how bloody quick it all went!

So six months of spending all day everyday 24/7 with baby bear and then it came to leaving him and it felt like I was leaving a limb behind. I know I sound like the most dramatic, over the top mummy ever but I've always wanted this blog to be honest so honest it shall be! I'm not officially back to work until next year but wanted to work a day to get back into the swing of things (the swing was very slow and rusty to begin with) having not done it for seven months and I knew that our first day apart would be so much harder for me than it was for him. For Leo it was spending the day with family, with a familiar face doing his usual things but for me it was worrying and thinking all day long. However, I am proud to say that I made it and I will make it again and next time that I have to leave baby bear it won't be with tears streaming down my face (I hope.)

Even just a few hours away from him really made me appreciate my husband and how hard he works for his family. Mums get months of time to love and bond with their newborn but for most dads its a matter of a week or two then back to normal life and work resumes. They are expected to do a full days work and still come home to do nappy changes and night feeds. I have been overwhelmed with just how much of a natural my husband is at being a father, but he was a natural husband too. He has this urge to nurture and protect what's his and that quality is what I love most. So if you are reading this one day Arron please know that I appreciate you...I appreciate you sleeping fifteen days in a hospital chair, for being the best birth partner I could possibly ever wish for, for feeds and changes and countless sleepless nights and sleepless days. Everybody that knows you says that Leo is your double and I just hope that he grows up to be even half the man that he looks so much like.